Everything i hate about myself

i get it from you

the arrogance

the temper

the brutal and blunt way that i talk

all the things that get me in trouble while trying to grow up

tsunami waves have pushed and swept away

any chance of love and happiness

i used to think that it was just me

so i hurt myself

i beat myself before you could

i buried the mere idea of happiness in the ground

that has six feet of snow on top

just like my heart

it’s never seen spring

your judgment laid on my chest

like cinder blocks sinking to the bottom of a river

and rots my mind like the garbage in the alley that ain’t been picked up for weeks

i asked you to tell me you love me

the concept looked foreign from your face

you mocked me

that night i took at least 10 pills

i hoped to drown in my own vomit


i was ready to die

from a love that they told me

will guide you thru the dark

a love that keeps the demons at bay

but what they didn’t tell me

is what happens when a broken man has a baby

and leaves that baby in the hands of the devil

what happens to that love that puts fear into the devil and scares him away

cause now the devil preys

and you are nowhere in sight

what happens to daddy’s little girl?

when the devil’s hot stinging tongue lands on her flesh, whispers “you’re so wet and tight.”

They said your love would protect me,

but you weren’t very interested in saving your baby girl

and sometimes it seemed you forgot you called me baby girl; until i writing this i did too

Everything i hate about myself

i get it from you

a repellent for love

the fear of the known

never to feel at home

all things that rock the earth from under me

everything i hate in you now lives in me

you couldn’t accept yourself, so i accept me

for both of us hopefully